Thursday 31 January 2019

TV Reivew: Open all hours.

Release date: 23rd March 1973 - 6th October 1985 (4 series. 26 episodes).

Story: The many happenings of a shop owner named Arkwright and his nephew/assistant Granville.

My thoughts: This was the comedy series that introduced me to comedian Ronnie Barker. And I have to say that this is a good series. The jokes are good and the characters are memorable. This show even got its own spin off series called Still open all hours. If you like British comedy shows then I would give this a watch.

My score: Three stars.

Saturday 26 January 2019

Film Review: The Fugative.

Release date: August 6th 1993.

Story: Harrison Ford stars as Dr Richard Kimble. A vascular surgeon in Chicago who one night returns to find his wife fatally injured by a one armed man. Kimble struggles with the man but he escapes. Kimble calls the police yet they believe that he killed his wife (due to a misunderstood emergency call by his late wife, lack of evidence of a brake in, and his wife's lucrative life insurance policy). Kimble is charge yet manages to escape when the prison bus that he is on crashes. Kimble then goes on the run in order to clear his name and find the real killer. Yet he is perused by a team of US marshals led by Deputy Samuel Gerard (played by Tommy Lee Jones).

My thoughts: This film was based off the 1960's television show of the same name. And I have to say that it is pretty good. the characters are good and you do feel some suspense with Harrison's character having to be one step ahead of Tommy's character. This film led to a sequel (U.S Marshals. Which I have also reviewed) which was also good.

My score: Four stars.

Thursday 24 January 2019

Film Review: Red Heat

Release date: June 14th 1988 (premiere release). June 17th 1988.

Story: Arnold Schwarzenegger stars as Captain Ivan 'Iron Jaw' Danko. A police officer from the Soviet Union who is sent to Chicago, USA to pick up a drug kingpin and crime lord (named Viktor Rostavili) who has fled after a failed attempted to arrest him. Ivan is assigned with loudmouthed Chicago detective Art Ridzik (played by James Belushi). Can east and west work together in order to capture the criminal? Watch the movie and find out.

My thoughts: This is one of those buddy cop movies (two opposite characters teaming up to solve a case and end up becoming close friends). And I kinda like it. It is one of those movies with an interesting concept and the comedy is good. Even though Arnold is playing a Russian cop, the scenes that were supposed to be in Russia are in fact filmed in Hungary and Austria. This film is a must have for any buddy cop collection.

My score: Three stars.

Tuesday 22 January 2019

TV Review: Dinosaurs

Release date: April 26th 1991 - October 19th 1994 (4 seasons, 65 episodes).

Story: Set 60 million years ago, this comedy show centres around a family of dinosaurs as they go about their daily lives.

My thoughts: This is a really cool show. The characters are memorable, the animatronics (created by the Jim Henson company) are amazing, and the voice acting is great. I used to watch this show when I was younger and I still enjoy it when I watch episodes on Youtube. It's a shame that the show isn't released on a Region 2 dvd. Yet it is still a great show and I would recommend it for anyone.

My score: Four stars.

Monday 14 January 2019

Creepypastas: A beginner's guide.

Creepypastas are basically online horror stories. They are what many people call modern myths and legends. The name itself is a parody on the phrase "Copy pasta" which means that there are no official copywrite claims on them (except for one maybe) and anyone could write their own remakes or use other peoples characters. There are many forms of creepypastas. Ranging from lost episodes to psychopathic teenagers. So there is a beginner's guide to some of the many types of creepypastas. 

But before we begin, there's some advice. If you are going to write your own, hugely disturbing and gory materials may not make a great creepypasta. Good build up with great suspense and a good payoff usually guaranties a great story. Plus likable characters and a great villain.

Type 1: Lost episodes.
These creepypastas are about a unknown person (usually the narrator) coming across a unaired episode of a beloved cartoon or live action show. Only to discover why it was never aired. The lost episodes feature many disturbing and gory imagery and would also feature the characters doing things that were completely off character. To be honest, I dought that these so called lost episodes are real. Why would the creators of a highly successful tv show create a episode with disturbing imagery and in doing so, risk their popularity and their careers? Perhaps these episodes were created by a rival company in order to get the series off the air? Who knows.

Type 2: Psychopathic teenagers.
These are the most popular types of creepypastas. They are about troubled and bullied teenagers who finally snap completely and start killing people. They would also suffer horrifying injuries or were perhaps experimented on (like having their faces burned, their eyes turn a funny colour, and gaining unrealistic superhuman abilities) Which would make them stand out and give them different characteristics. They would also have a significant weapon (a sharp knife mainly) and would also have a catchphrase (such as "Go to sleep!" or "Your time is up!"). But what nearly every one of these characters have one thing in common. Bad parents or relatives. Give Jeff the killer some credit, at least his parents were not bad (stupid yes but not horrible).

Type 3: Bad games.
These creepypastas are similar to Lost episodes. they are about a person finding a video game from their childhood (either by finding it in storage or buying it from a jumble sale) and deciding to play it again for nostalgic reasons. Only to realise that the game has changed a lot. They would feature horrifyingly gory and disturbingly images and have characters that address the player (either asking the player on why they haven't played in years, why did the player made them do something horrible, or that they'll get the player). In some versions, the game turns out to be possessed by a demonic presents and said presents would go after the player (which in many cases would ruin the creepypasta).

Type 4: Supernatural goings on.
These are basically stories about ghosts, demons, monsters, and other supernatural creatures. Some are based on real life myths and folklore (like the wendigo and skin-walkers). Many of these stories are about someone or a group of people being stalked or being menaced by a monsters and would often wonder why is it targeting them. These monsters would become famous in their own way. Like Mr Widemouth, Mr Nails, The Rake, and the infamous Slenderman (perhaps the first creepypasta ever made).

Type 5: Shorts.
These ones are properly the best ones. They are two or five sentence long stories that are short but to the point.

Type 6: Secure. Contain. Protect (SCP).
The S.C.P is a fictional organisation of doctors, scientists, researchers, military units, and agents who's soul purpose is to locate and contain supernatural items and monsters so that they cannot harm humans. They are catalogued into three categories. Safe (not harmful at all), Euclid (mostly not harmful unless provoked), and Keter (extremely harmful and dangerous to everything and everyone). These include a pizza box that will produce the holder's favourite pizza, a drinks machine that will give you any type of liquid, a room made out of human flesh, a statue that only moves when no one is looking at it, and a creature that doesn't like it when you look directly at its face.

Type 7: Rituals.
This creepypastas are step by step guides on how to perform rituals. Which will either summon demons or any other supernatural or satanic being. But please take my advice and NEVER try and perform theses in real life. Not only will nothing happen but many of them involve harming yourself. 

Wednesday 9 January 2019

What if: What if Godzilla and kaijus are real?

Godzilla is the king of monsters. First appearing in the 1954 film of the same name and has spawned a series of movies and a huge ton of franchise. He is a well known icon of films and there have been many parodies about him. Yet there had always been a question being pondered by fans. What if Godzilla and other kaiju like him was real? In the first of a new series I am now doing (beginning with What if Pokémon were real), I am going to explore a possible world where fictional creatures and beings are real. And where to start but with the King of the monsters himself. So here we go.

The pros:
It would be an experience living in a world where Godzilla and other kaiju are real. Just imagen looking out of a window (either in a building or a vehicle and seeing either Godzilla, Mothra, Rodan, or another kaiju roaming around). And it would be another thing watching either two of them or a whole group of them battling each other. There would also be a real Monster Island where all of the kaijus would be move to in order to study them and also keep them from rampaging through inhabited areas. And there is the fact that if Earth was ever invaded by aliens, we would have a living weapon to counter attack. There might also be those who would chase Godzilla similar to those who chase storms. In order to pick up some information that might help us.

The cons:
No one would want him alive. Godzilla is known to rampage through cities and destroying many places in his path. It will be like a natural disaster only ten times worse. And knowing that he swims in the oceans, cities on the coast will be evacuated and everyone would either move inland or underground. Meanwhile all of the nations will try and develop new ways of killing Godzilla or at least drive him away from their countries. People may begin to form cults and begin to worship him like a living god. Trade and travel would become a thing to worry about. In the fear that planes and ships might be attacked at any moment. If not by Godzilla then by any of the other kaijus as well. And then there is the fear that any rogue nation or organisation might attempt to tame Godzilla and use him for their own desires.

Conclusion:
It is a mixed bag. It would be cool to see Godzilla in the real world but it will not be a great world to live in. But what are your thoughts on this? Let me know in the comment section below and I will see you next time.

Saturday 5 January 2019

Film Review: Monkey Shines

Release date: July 29th 1988

Story: After being hit by a truck and ending up as a quadriplegic, Allan Mann has difficulty adjusting to his new life. That is until he gets a specially trained monkey to help him. But what he doesn't know is that the monkey is a test animal from a science lab that conducts experiments by injecting the monkeys with human brain tissue. And the horrifying effects of these experiments begin to show...

My thoughts: This movie was directed by George A. Romero and was based off of a book written by Michael Steward. This is actually a great movie. The monkey herself (who is voiced by famous voiced actor Frank Welker) is great in her role and the other characters are also memorable. This film has one of the most memorable shots in cinema history. A undershot of the monkey leaping through the air with a bolt of lightning behind her. If you like horror movies that has a slow but worth while build up, then I would give this a watch. 

My score: Five stars.

Friday 4 January 2019

Film Review: Eraser

Release date: June 21st 1996.

Story: Arnold Schwarzenegger stars as John Kruger, a top US Marshal at the Witness Security Protection Program (WITSEC) whose job is to 'erase' high profile witnesses (as in faking their deaths) in order to protect them from those who want to kill them. His next mission is to protect a woman named Lee Cullen (played by Vanessa L. Williams) who has recently retrieved data about highly developed weapons (guns that shoot small bolts of compressed air instead of bullets) and that the company is selling them on the black market. But what both John and Lee don't realise is how much danger they are in. And that John's own collages and mentors might be involved as well.

My thoughts: I like this movie. I find the action good and the effects ok. If you are a fan of Schwarzenegger movies that I would recommend this.

My score: Four stars.

Thursday 3 January 2019

Film Review: The 6th Day

Release date: October 28th 2000 (the Tokyo International Film Festival release). November 17th 2000 (theatrical release).

Story: At some point in the near future, it is now common to clone animals and human organs. It is however illegal to clone a human being. But someone doesn't follow the rules and clones a charter pilot Adam Gibson (played by Arnold Schwarzenegger) without him knowing. Adam finds out that the clone has taken over his life in his absence and so sets out to find out who cloned him, why they cloned him, and to try and get his family back.

My thoughts: Even though this is a box office disappointment, I kinda like this film. The film gives light to what could happen in the near future (cloning, self driveable vehicles, and a fridge with a built in computer that tells you when you are low on items and you can order them as well). And this film has a great twist ending in my opinion. If you are a fan of Schwarzenegger films then give this a watch.

My score: Three stars. 

Wednesday 2 January 2019

Film Review: Reign of Fire

Release date: July 12th 2002.

Story: After accidentally awakening a group of hibernating dragons under the streets of London, mankind is nearly whipped out and the dragons are now the dominant species. Now in 2020, a small group of survivors try and survive in the dragon ruled world. Until one day a group of American dragon slayers arrive with the intent of slaying the alpha male dragon. But the two groups of humans have a hard time getting along. Will they be able to get along with each other and help save mankind? Watch the movie and find out.

My thoughts: This is a ok film. The dragons look great yet the characters are a bit hit and miss for my taste. But it's cool to see Christian Bale (before his Batman years) and Matthew McConaughey's characters butting heads. If you are a fan of post apocalyptic films then I would recommend this.

My score: Three stars.

Gaming Reviews: Fallout 76.

Release date: November 14th 2018.

Type of game: Role-playing, open world, online multiplayer.

Story: Years after nuclear war had nearly destroyed the whole world, a handful of people managed to survive in specially built bunkers deep underground. You play as one of these people who goes outside in order to repopulate and rebuild. So you venture out into the world where you encounter ghouls, super mutants, and the other things that are associated with the Fallout series.

My thoughts: This game is a let down. Apart from the various glitches and mishaps the game has (there is a three hour video on Youtube all about the various mishaps the game has), the adverts show huge groups of players teaming up to explore the world and rebuild civilisation. Yet when you play, all of the players are scattered all over the map and on rare occasions do you bump into other players. Also I know that you can't pause an online game but there are times when you just need to recheck your stuff on your pip-boy or what ever it is called, you still get attacked. And more annoyingly your weapons brake and you have to mend them (which is also a problem when you are in the middle of a battle and you are open to attacks when you have to stop and select a new weapon or health items. And there is no point of running to cover because the enemies follow you and keep up the attack) which is in the previous games (apart from Fallout 4). Also some of the weapons and items you collect cannot be used until you reach a higher level. So if you are a fan of Fallout games then you can play this if you want but I wouldn't recommend it. Although there might be a update with new material that might improve the game.

Things that I want in a future update or DLC: Perhaps something where we can explore a pre-war world (something I want for every Fallout game) and perhaps one where you can play as a Super mutant or something.

My score: Two stars.